The Cushings Curse..

    I am awesome, I am so awesome that it built up in my head and caused a mass of awesome.. some doctors call it a tumor but I know the truth. When I was young my hands shook all the time and it didn't bother me much, so I ignored it.. when I graduated high school it was becoming so bad that I went to a neurologist. He proceeded to give me lots and lots of medicine, (you see he didn't know about the awesome build up) and plus he was kind of a douche. Eventually I became tired of his disdain filled doctoring and decided to take matters into my own hands. I made the appointment and flew down to Seattle and saw a specialist about my supposed diagnoses; Essential Tremors, which in fifteen Min's Doctor Dude proved Doctor Douche wrong... what.. a shocker. Doctor Dude then pulled in Doctor SmartyPants... Doctor SmartyPants then used his smartness and said that I had the look of someone with awesomeness buildup or Cushings and after two years of testing he proved that I did. Now I say awesomeness.. they may say cortisol buildup resulting in a tumor that was producing massive amount's of cortisol causing Cushing disease... But I prefer my version because Doctor SmartiesPants version was a little depressing.... Although when other patients found out a similar fate they wanted to research and wallow in it... although I did that at times too, I preferred to not think about it and or make a joke about it.. Laughter is always the best answer in my opinion. In May of 09' I underwent my first surgery to remove the awesome tumor.. FAIL... March 10'  the 2nd surgery.. WIN... or so I thought two weeks later major FAIL... the plug which well plugged up the hole in my head, came unplugged and I had a massive bloody nose and almost bleed out... not awesome. After some blood transfusions and a couple days in the hospital it was time to go home. Once at home I feel asleep on the couch only to wake up around 1am felling very... well wrong, if that makes sense.... and POP.. I made it to the other room before collapsing and screaming until the ambulance came.. I could not even enjoy the sexy men who came to help me .,. Honestly I don't even remember them.. I spent the next 44 days in the hospital. I had a CSF leak... and awesome leak that wasn't awesome. my spinal fluid was leaking out my nose.. told ya not awesome. I contracted meningitis, staff and pneumonia... Meningitis was the worst along with the awesome leak I couldn't move my body without fire racing through my body. I was later told that I hallucinated quite a lot during that time because of the massive amount of drugs I was on. I had a drain in my back to drain off some of the awesomeness so that the plug could heal, but then Doctor Evil came into the picture he did fix the plug but then upon removing the drain it snapped in half.. "No worry.." he said with his evil voice... "Just a slight surgery and all will be well.." liar. He ended opening me up about 7 inches to remove the drain and had to shave some of the vertebrae just to get at it. Eventually I did get out of the hospital and away from Doctor Evil.. Though it has been a long recovery I am technically in remission from Cushings.. BUT still have a lot of problems getting back to how I use to be before the Awesome tumor ah De-awesome-tized?